The Lies we Believe

I never accept what people say at face value. I do not think this makes me a cynical person nor does this make me an ass. You may say: "But you gotto trust someone. How can you live like that?" Quite well, thank you. That is not the point, I trust my husband. The point is he is a human being and he might be wrong and frequently is. I am wrong a lot too so don't just accept everything I have to say because I am so impressively intelligent and silver fingered. If you do the next thing you know you will be in some jungle drinking poisoned kool aid. I will start a cult, if I can't get people to think for themselves. There is good money in cults.

Good people, honest people, trustworthy people, intelligent people are often wrong. Remember back when e-mail was the thing and people sent forwards? Remember the" Hotmail will start charging", " they will deactivate your account if you do not forward this", "SUNSCREEN CAUSES BLINDNESS, wont somebody think of the children!!!!". Now we have similar things on facebook too but let’s use the e-mails as examples. All these were false. All these were sent to me by honest and trustworthy people yet they were false. These people assumed because they got them from honest, trustworthy and even intelligent people that they must have been true. After all honest people would not forward these. The people who sent these to them thought based on the exact same principle and all quickly pressed the forward button without looking it up and verifying it. After realizing how the chain worked I started to look stuff up.

There are people out there who knowingly deceive people. Are they evil? I don't know. I do know they are sometimes looking just for a little fun at our gullible expense. Sometimes they want our money and at other times they are trying to do something good and will lie to achieve it.

People tell little white lies for ideological reasons all the time. This very much includes Christians. I do not trust Christians at face value. They spread misinformation sometimes because they just heard it from someone they trust other times they think a little white lie will bring glory to God better than the truth. Here are a few examples: condoms don't prevent HIV, abstinence only (condoms are great at preventing the sexual transmission of HIV, so is abstinence, but abstinence is preferable to ideologues so they outright lie). Darwinists (term for a group of people who do not exist in reality) believe life started from nothing (if they mean evolutionary biologists, they lie. Evolutionary biologists do not officially care where life came from, just how it changed overtime). So there are some, of many lies, perpetuated by Christians for good causes. I picked a few obvious ones.

Don't trust in humans without question. I only trust in God fully because he is the only one worthy of it.

FIrst Vlog!!!!

So, made a vlog. My accent in English has gtten atrocious and stuff but hope you like it. My face also looks super long and other self criticisms but I think I did pretty well. I used the abilities gained from talking to myself all the time so I felt pretty comfortable talking to the camera.

Love

Many times we forget the concept of love. It is a central principle of our faith but it seems like it is talked about very little at church. We Christians seem to skip over it as a kids lesson. It is alright for the little ones at children's church but not for us mature Christians. We like to deal in mature stuff like financial stewardship or church growth. Those topics maybe mature, and boring, but very much not important compared to love. ”And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” (1 Corinthians 13:13)

I see Christianity like the game of Othello. Easy to learn lifetime to master. Just like the game after we learn how Christianity works we just want to play, have fun and start mastering the game. Any player of any game like Othello and chess would tell you practicing the basics is key. Terrible is the chess player who does not have the basics down but knows the most complicated moves. We should still remember while reading my clever analogy that Christianity is not a game it is our lives and who we are. We don't need to win. It is not a game of who can be more holy. In fact one upping others in the Bible is frowned up on. It is said to be Pharisee like behavior of showing off.

Sometimes the holiest people know the value of simplicity the best. It is no secret that my husband is a Quaker and I, while not sure what I should label myself as, have definite Quaker sentiments. I love their adherence to peace, tolerance and the traditional value of simplicity. Love is simple, love is clear, love is joy, love is sacrifice when necessary. Love is the love of Jesus. I have confined my studies mostly, due to time constraints and possible ADD, to the life of Jesus. It has really taught me what is important. Love is important. Faith is important. Looking at the world through the lens of love makes knowing what would Jesus do way easier. What would Jesus do? Jesus would love.

I pray to love more and to act in love. It is something God has given to my heart to do. I could never love too much. I think Christians could use genuine non-self seeking love a whole lot more.

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. (1 Corintheans 13)

Sexism in the Church

his is a sort of an addendum to my post about sexism. I did not want to talk about sexism in the church and among Christians in it because that was not really necessarily a part of the Christian faith but a behaviour of His followers. I thought I would write about that separately here. I hope this will be the last post about sexism I write for a while because I would like to focus on other things and deal with my anger with this issue alone with God, but I am open to chatting about it in the comments.

When I was about 14 and experienced anger toward God for the first and only time in my life. It started out so simply. I was spending Christmastime at my grandmother's house. I arrived with my mother early before my brother and father. They had some business to take care of. Before they came we three took turns doing the dishes and I was fine with it. It was fair and I was happy to co-operate. When they came it came my turn again I stated that it was one of their turns. My grandmother stated, with the support of my mother, that they did not have to because they were men. Why not? Well they were men, like that meant something. They worked hard all year. Well, did my mother not work hard all year to keep the house and she still was? “Women's” work, when done well is not laziness and my mother was not lazy. The men were not working my mother was, the same as ever. I became frustrated and angry in a way only teenagers can manage. Refused to take my turn out of principle and stomped up to the attic and cried from sheer frustration and self loathing remembering all the awful things preachers in church has been saying about me. I really felt worthless in the eyes of God.

Once I went to a Sunday school class that was about marriage. I was only about 19 so marriage was not on my radar but it was the only interesting sounding class on offer. At this point my parents had had a successful marriage of over 25 years, now they are at something like 35, I cannot remember. The couple teaching the class had been married only a mere 12 years. They taught the class they stated, very clearly, that their was was the only “Godly” way to do a marriage. They advocated that all Christian marriages should have the man as the only breadwinner and the woman should never work after marriage unless absolutely, vitally, no other choice about it, necessary. The most infuriating thing was the lack of confidence in his position as the head the man exhibited. He repeatedly said “Christ” pointing to himself and”church” pointing to his wife. He did this over and over and over again. Really? Are you afraid that we will forget or you just have no confidence in your Biblical manhood that you need to keep doing that? It was ridiculous. He also advocated not using birth control and letting God be in control of that. Really, I thought God was omnipotent and therefore capable of being in charge of that regardless of what measures we took? They stated that theirs was the only way. Well, that was obviously false in the fact that my parents had had a Godly marriage of many more years than theirs and my mother had worked during most of it and they had practiced birth control. So, obviously theirs was not the only way. I was angry to have been given false information in such a condescending way. As I left the Sunday school room. A girl, I have no idea who she was, asked me if I had liked the class. I made a mistake and told her I did not like some of the aspects of it, especially the condescending manner in which a man rules over his family. She told me I had a problem with submission. She was right I do, I have a BIG problem with unquestioned submission to some flawed human. True, I suppose the penis is an organ of leadership, but still, even it is fallible phallus (sorry for the penis sarcasm).

So many Christians, men and women alike come up to me and tell me that this submission is noble and Biblical and I don't get it. I mean I get what the Bible says, as far as I detailed in my last post. Still when contrasting it with the explicit spiritual equality of men and women that the Bible claims this is a bit of a contradiction.

These things are white washed to be something noble but they feel like punches to my stomach. The noble job of a woman raising her children in the home, while her husband works. Noble job of cooking, cleaning doing laundry and other assorted things that go into the job of a help mate, that word makes me gag. It is like I am supposed to be the Robin to my husband's Batman. The Cato to his Green Hornet. The Tonto to his Lone Ranger. I am to play second fiddle and like it, weather I like it or not and say “Ugh, kimosabe, the roast is ready.” Then there is the no women preachers thing. Finally the most egregious thing. Men are supposed to be the spiritual leaders of the home. This is the last bastion of the separation of the roles. Many modern churches are willing to give women the same rights as men, except this. It makes me feel like I am inferior to my husband. It really does. I have listened to preacher after preacher try and justify this and make me feel like it is a privilege to be given the same spiritual role as my child when it comes to my husband. I have heard it all, don't even bother explaining it. Men with followings of thousands have tried to explain it. As have women who are happy as their roles not being equal partners with their men. It hurts, it does, it hurts a lot.

Also I admit, I am angry, hurt and betrayed by the Church, not by God but by the Church. I am a little annoyed that God allowed his word to be written in such a manner as to cause this but it is his Church that interprets it and insults my intelligence, talents and worth as a human. It makes me angry about being a woman. I feel like I can't be myself because I am a woman.

How has the Church betrayed you?

Speaking Christian

This is very interesting and makes me want to buy the book it is based on and it validates some of my previous assumptions and will probably inspire future blog posts.



There is also a longer article that you can read that goes in more detain and then there is a book too. I so wish I could afford it.

More of this except with talent

Found a great new blog on wordpress, the writer really deals in very similar stuff as I do.

http://moonchild11.wordpress.com/

Go check her out.

What I don't like about Christianity Part 3: Sexism

This post hits home for me a little more than parts 1 and 2 because it is personal. As a result the tone is different. I still attempt to be rational and fair.

I don't really like being a woman. It is a topic I have explored more in another post in a rather graphic way. It is not really that being a woman is so bad, it is more like the societal pressures as one are. The stereotype of a typical woman has nothing to do with me. I have also posted before about how I identify more as a human being than a woman, call it androgyny if you want but that does not really fit. What it really is is being an individual but that is kinda vague and people don't like vague. As in the post about not being happy with being a woman and how awful it was things in society have gotten a lot better and I am really grateful about that. One place where it has not gotten better is the Bible. My favorite verse is Galatians 3:28: “There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” (emphasis mine) I belonged to a Quaker fellowship when I was in the United States and they believed in that firmly. In the church and in God's work we were all equals. A woman was the same as a man in the service of Christ all was looked at was merit. I really enjoyed that and when I become really depressed thinking about being a woman and all the roles, tendencies, talents and weaknesses people try to impose on my that have nothing to do with me as a real complete person I think about this verse. It comforts me a great deal.

What about the rest of the Bible it was written by a bunch of men in a patriarchal culture that permeates the language, counting, examples etc. If you have read the Bible all the generic examples independent of gender use he. For example my favourite Psalm states (emphasis again mine):

Blessed is the man

who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked

or stand in the way of sinners

or sit in the seat of mockers.

But his delight is in the law of the Lord,

and on his law he meditates day and night.

He is like a tree planted by streams of water,

which yields its fruit in season

and whose leaf does not wither.

Whatever he does prospers.

(Psalm 1)

So, the good guy is a guy and unless I ignore that it has nothing to do with me, when read in the English language (in Finnish it is not so bad because we only have one word covering both he and she). I chose this passage because it is my favourite and it, like any generic excerpt is a good example of this. Women are only mentioned in verses specifically referring to women and the roles of women and I want nothing to do with these verses because I cannot relate with them. I would like to emphasize that over all this is not a big deal, neither is calling “manned spaceflight” manned spaceflight, that is because “peopled spaceflight” sounds retarded and is not a real thing.

As for counting, only men are counted, women like slaves, children and donkeys are not mentioned except in passing like, there were 1,000 men and some women and children in addition. That is because we women were property. "You shall not covet your neighbor's house. You shall not covet your neighbor's wife, or his manservant or maidservant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor." (Ex. 20:17) So, I am property. This is fracking depressing. As a wife I am property of my husband, just like his slaves (servants), oxen ,donkeys and other belongings. It did not say husband in there so men are not property of their wives.

What does the Bible say about women? They are usually seen as bringers of food, bearers of children. Sisters, mothers, daughters. Pretty standard stuff. In Titus 2:4-5: “Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.” In Timothy 3:6-7 “They are the kind who worm their way into homes and gain control over weak-willed women, who are loaded down with sins and are swayed by all kinds of evil desires, always learning but never able to acknowledge the truth.” In 1 Peter 3:5-6 “For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.”

What are these verses saying, let me summarize. Or at least tell you what I personally hear. I am supposed to love my family and be self-controlled. That sounds great, that would work for men too, but I am also supposed to be submissive to my husband because I am liable to malign the word of God otherwise. WTF Titus? What do you think I am? Timothy assumes I am weak-willed. If he did not he would have said weak-willed men, or people. Remember, men first and by default women only when specifically speaking of them. Peter says to be holy as a woman I am supposed to be submissive to my husband.

These can all be justified, explained away and if these were the only parts of the Bible that did this is would be fine but this is just a handful of examples. Paul says that women are not supposed to speak in the church and frequently that is justified as something to do with the times. Women who were temple priestesses in pagan temples were also prostitutes and therefore a decent woman would not want to be mistaken for a prostitute. I have also heard that women gossip and gossip is bad and in order to keep it out of God's house we should make the women STFU.

Justifying these away is like getting called stupid and then having someone explain to me that, while what they said was all true, but only applicable under certain circumstances. Still I am being called stupid, childlike and less than human and over time it starts to get to me. I start to wonder. Reading too much of Paul makes me want to book a sex change ASAP or convert to some other religion. I don't want to be that which those verses describe.

What about the good things of the Bible that are said about women? What about Proverbs 31? The passage about the perfect woman often used in modern churches to make the Bible seem feminist. It is a fine passage, equally applicable to a man. Being a hard worker, respected and loved and valued by your family is a great thing. I have nothing really negative about it. My favourite part is: “She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.” Little passages like this are all too rare and a drop in the bucket compared to all the other crap women get heaped on them.

Many people say that Jesus is a very feminist character in the Bible. I suppose that is true. He never says anything truly demeaning to any woman, in my opinion. His conversations with his female friends are not recorded. I would love to know what words he and Mary Magdalene and sisters Martha and Mary exchanged since he was around them a lot of the time. It was women who found out about his resurrection first before others. What good things he might have said to women were not recorded because the recorders were men and that did not matter to them. Women may have mattered to Jesus and been valuable friends and companions to him but they were not to the men who wrote the gospels (this may not have been more than a cultural trait, I am sure they were fine men otherwise).

How do I deal with this? The homosexuality topic is easier to think through and get past and conclude because I am not homosexual it is not personal. This is and every time I read the Bible it is there and especially in the letters of the New Testament. It is very blatant and when ever I read the letters I become angry all over again. I feel less than human. I feel like there is this exclusive club of true Christians that a penis is the passport to, just like circumcision was the passport to Judaism that also was something not possible to women. I feel like I am on the outside. I cannot use my true talents. I will always be less than. So I am still working on this. This reconciling myself with being told by the Bible that I am something I am not. I am not a Biblical woman and, barring a miracle, will never be. God just did not create me like that. It is harder still when Christians remind me of this. That is something I will explore in another post very soon.