tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37827068679870734262024-03-13T11:58:54.602-05:00The Lazy SkepticI am often skeptical but usually too lazy to do anything about it.Skeptigirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09114437797095740146noreply@blogger.comBlogger105125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3782706867987073426.post-19440726945364557502015-08-20T09:23:00.001-05:002015-08-20T09:23:35.380-05:00Depressed and Ashamed AgainI am depressed again. Things were going so well until this spring my therapist said something that made me feel ashamed and not trust anyone. I stopped seeing her. I started to feel okay after a while but I still feel I cannot talk about a lot of my feelings openly with people.<br />
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Less than a week ago something else happened and now I am just wanting to crawl away and hide because I have been directly and openly been told that what I say on facebook is inappropriate. All my friends on facebook are over 18, so it should not be a problem, but it is. I am a visible representative of Christianity as a whole and what I say is not appropriate, but here is the thing, I do not really think there is anything wrong with what I say. I am openly and honestly expressing who I am and what I think, but who I am is not appropriate. I have been chastised for it directly by church leadership.<br />
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I do not feel I can both serve God and express who I am. In order to be a good Christian I now have to either change who I am what I think and feel, or keep it a secret. The first is not going to happen because I have tried that and no matter how hard I have prayed God has not changed who I am. The second possibility is not something I want to do. The thought of censoring myself and acting as if there is something shameful about me and my opinions and thoughts is revolting to me and makes me feel trapped and honestly so depressed I have trouble getting up out of bed in the morning. I am sleeping more. I am forgetful and distracted. In short I am depressed.<br />
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I guess my world is really small and pathetic when my number one form of self expression is facebook status messages. I spent so long to learn to love and accept myself that now when I am no longer standing in my way others are. My therapist, the lay leader of my church, other church members who have complained to her about it, basic Christian decency, what ever it is I am trapped between a rock and a hard place. I have to not live honestly as who I am but I have to learn to hide things and keep secrets and nothing is more depressing, discouraging and disheartening as that. It is so against who I am but if I am to become depressed again and hide away who I am I guess so be it. I am not so great anyway.Skeptigirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09114437797095740146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3782706867987073426.post-50657723229865439122015-08-10T15:17:00.000-05:002015-08-10T15:17:06.370-05:00MasturbationFlicking the bean, parting the lotus petals, you know, masturbation. I honestly know very few terms for female masturbation. Still I am going to talk about it.<br />
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I just saw this video: https://youtu.be/VQoyIyW3h6k<br />
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It is about male masturbation. I am going to talk about female masturbation. The Bible does not talk about it, so let's by pass the verses, because there are none.<br />
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In the video the man says masturbation=lust. I do not know the minds of men, or all women. I do know my own mind. I rarely think about anything but getting off when I rub it. I just want to feel good and no fantasies of men, women or other things are necessary. So lust: not a problem.<br />
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He also states it is a selfish act. I do not get that at all. I mean, I have never had sex unselfishly. Maybe that is just a part of being a woman. All I *really* care about is feeling good. I mean it is nice if the guy has a good time too but men always have a good time, they do not need special things like foreplay or romance. Furthermore that is like saying eating alone in selfish because a meal is meant to be shared. A meal is ALWAYS more special with someone special but I am not going forego satisfying my physical needs just because I am not married.<br />
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He also mentions that masturbation is not legitimate for relieving stress because you feel guilty after. I have never felt guilt for masturbation. I have always wondered if I should but it has never happened with my solo exploration. I have felt guilty for looking at porn, reading erotic stories and for sexual fantasies, sex with a partner who I was not married to, but never for masturbation.<br />
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I forget what other bullshit he spouts but he reminds me of a Muslim man. 90% of Muslim men I have spoken too say it is a sin to masturbate and fornication is more natural and therefore more okay.<br />
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Masturbation is a gift from God as I look at it. I have a VERY HIGH sex drive and of I could not masturbate and fulfill my needs that way I would have a lot more premarital sex and feel a lot guiltier. Also, I have prayed while masturbating before. I do not think it is weird, God sees me do it and I feel okay with that so sometimes while building up I have a little conversation with him. Call me weird, but I do not think masturbation is a sin.<br />
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You know what is a sin? Spilling your seed on the ground while you are fucking your brother's wife. No coitus interruptus for you adulterers.<br />
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Here is more about male vs. female masturbation: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DaY89TPgjakSkeptigirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09114437797095740146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3782706867987073426.post-81408161936636151172015-05-26T07:20:00.000-05:002015-05-26T07:44:22.085-05:00Becoming PaulaLately I have come to accept that I am not intended for marriage. This is not a sad reality. I think that marriage is sometimes over glorified. Marriage has benefits,yes, all sorts, physical, spiritual and emotional. As the Bible says something about a stone sharpening a stone so we can grow putting up with the annoyances of another person. When we look at this we seem to forget Paul recommending not marrying. He did great things for God. With no wife.<br />
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Why am I talking about this? Was I not exceedingly happy while I was marrieds? Yes, and no. It was the best I had ever known. The reality is that I have always felt that marriage was not for me. As a child I really wanted to be an old maid. Even as a a teen I did not think I would marry. This was in big contrast to the fact that I had a really strong sex drive. My sex drive was not the kind that was okay with just sleeping around. All my fantasies, then and now include committed loving relationships with love. My body and spirit had contrasting desires.<br />
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Did I marry my ex-husband for sex? Yes and no. I also married him because I loved him and had intensely committed to him and up on marriage I was willing and able to love him until one of us died and that was the case until the divorce.<br />
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There is another reason I married. I was profoundly mentally ill. What I needed was therapy and medication and a reliance up on God, not marriage, or relationship of any kind. When I am in a relationship my spiritual growth becomes profoundly retarded. I give too much of what is God's to my partner. I love intensely all consumingly and committedly. My love is the stuff of romances. It is also suffocating and unhealthy.<br />
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Sometimes what we most want is the least good for us. I never grew up nor figured what I wanted because I was so intensely committed to my husband. Now I am thriving and scared that I will jeopardize all the wonderful things I have accomplished by falling into another relationship. Also it is quite clear that I have terrible taste in men. My standards are fall too low. Clearly the common factor in my dismal romantic history is me and I have to accept the blame and that God's blessing has not been up on any of it.<br />
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In contrast I am blessed and productive and growing and happy with myself alone. Unless God finds me the perfect man, I am not interested and perfection does not appear in reality, so I think I am safe. Just call me Paula, the female apostle preaching the gospel of Jesus and remaining unmarried. : PSkeptigirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09114437797095740146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3782706867987073426.post-6090565002468292112015-02-07T06:47:00.000-06:002015-02-07T06:47:14.999-06:00BusinessThe problem with me is that I have no concept of "business" as in whose business something is. My business, your business, nobody's business all become everybody's business. Am I gossip? Yes, but I do not believe my motives are malicious. Am I untrustworthy? In a way I am. <br />
<br />This does not primarily mean I will go tell your business to everybody. What I do mostly is I tell my business to everyone. I have no concept of why this would be a bad idea. I tell people all about my sex life, or lack of it. I have zero problem talking about sex. I think the problem is that people assume that if I talk about it I will have it, with them. This is not the case. I just am very comfortable with myself. <br />
<br />I accept my mistakes and I am comfortable with myself. I do things I am not proud of but I have no concept of why I should not share these things with practically everyone, anyone. Why not? I just have no filter.<br />I think people assume there is more I am not sharing. I have juicier secrets, like them. Secrets they keep secret. I have no secrets. Believe me. Ask me anything. I may not announce it online but I have no secrets. Maybe I am somehow disabled.<br />
<br />You may say that this is fine. It is my business who I tell my stuff to. I am an idiot but what ever floats my retarded boat. The real problem comes when your business and my business intersect and become the same thing. I have to exert quite a bit of will power not to blab my business, because it is your business. I try, but every once in a while it jumps out. It probably does not comfort you when I tell you how hard I try to keep it under wraps because people usually just see that one time when their dirty little secret was shared by me. Skeptigirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09114437797095740146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3782706867987073426.post-14661099147045512362014-01-11T04:31:00.000-06:002014-01-11T04:31:24.056-06:00The Invisible Illness<div>
As my name on this blog tells you I consider myself a skeptic but I do not do scientific skepticism here much, and I will not do it here either. I want to talk about how grateful and blessed I am by modern medicine and the scientific method that has provided us with this ever changing, improving medical science.</div>
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I have always been very healthy in body most of the problems I have ever had are pretty much in my head. The health problems I have can not be seen on the surface, even by medical professionals sometimes. This does not mean they are incompetent, this means they can not read minds. You can not see pain or mental illness on the outside often that is why they are misunderstood by observers, and sometimes even by sufferers.</div>
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I was very lucky. When I had my breakdown and I descended into my dark place of depression and psychosis I received treatment but every step of the way I had to fight to get it and advocate for myself. I seemed calm rational and sane even as I was breaking down. I tried to explain to doctors that I was breaking down but they just saw someone who seemed to be alright. When I was at the hospital the psychiatrist was not sure I necessarily needed anti-depressants. I had to explain to her this was not a temporary condition that would go away as the initial stress went away. She believed me and medicated me. </div>
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I got so lucky. The first medication I was given worked. This does not happen every time, often people have to go through years of trial and error to find the right medicine. Thank you medical science, thank you God. It also worked fast. After three weeks I felt like I turned a corner. One day dramatically things looked different, less enormous. It was like the elephant I had to eat was chopped up into bite sized pieces and I saw that there was a possibility that over time I could get over this and the task in front of me could be accomplished with time. I was cautious. I made them keep me another week. They wanted to send me home after a week at first, then two, then three but I had to make them keep me until I was ready to go, until my medicine was working, until the feeling of facing the world outside did not fill me with unspeakable terror.</div>
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My struggle continued outside. Things got harder as I got out, as they tend to. I had to face the world, face my husband and the stresses of being out on my own for the first time ever. I still miss being at the hospital sometimes. It was so safe there. I had to now convince a whole new set of people I was sick. I was optimistic and full of enthusiasm to get on the path to my new life but every one had their own idea about what I should do and they did not ask me what I needed.</div>
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I had to convince a new mental health nurse I was sick, and eventually that my depression had worsened and I had regressed several months and had to up my medicine, also I had to convince a psychiatrist. They were not incompetent, or blind, or anything. They just could not read minds. I was clean, my clothes were nice and I took care of myself and I felt better when I talked to others. How could they possibly see the dark moments of depression and loneliness I experienced? They were not in my messy apartment as I forced myself to make something to eat and broke down crying in the middle of slicing vegetables, collapsing to the floor and swearing tourets like: Bastard, fucking passive-aggressive douche bag! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fucking asshole!</div>
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The real difficulty was convincing the non-medical people. I have been told by so many people that I should not have tried to kill myself because suicide is a sin. Really? Wow, you know, I did not grow up in the Christian culture so I really had no idea. (What is the font for sarcasm?) My parents, every time my medication comes up, are still trying to convince me I should stop taking it. They do not understand. It was even worse in the beginning listening to my father's two hour lectures about the evils of psychology. Don't get me wrong, my parents are great and supportive in this time. They just do not understand, or even in some cases, acknowledge my sickness.</div>
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People tell me I should just pick myself up by my boot straps and clean my home. After all, it won't take that long, it is a small apartment. Just pick up after yourself. I wish I could. I really wish I could. Get a job, any job, earn money and quit living off the government. Even immigrants who do not know how to speak Finnish can get jobs in cleaning because they want to. People are poor in Kosovo and things are bad there but they have no depression.</div>
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That is what I hear. It is hard, I am alone in my sickness in a lot of ways. Make no mistake about it. I am ill. Just because I am not visibly ill does not mean I am fine. If you were to take a look at my brain under an MRI you would find that my hippo campus has drastically shrunk from what is normal for a 31 year old woman. The functioning of my frontal lobe is different and impaired. I have a drug to treat the chemical imbalance and slow the re-uptake of serotonin but only by taking it for a long time and going to therapy and in general living a healthy happy life can I hope to fix the physical changes in my brain. There is a hope that one day I will be fully cured and my depression will go into remission forever, but I may have to be medicated for the rest of my life. The first possibility is what I hope for but I am alright with the second. I am willing to take my chances.</div>
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What about the long term side effects of anti-depressants? We are not aware of all of them. Some may say. I answer: What about them? I have a friend with diabetes. There are long term side effects with having to take insulin too, but no one worries about that because it is necessary for her to live and they understand she will take it forever. I do not see how my case, if I am medicated for the rest of my life, is much different.</div>
Skeptigirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09114437797095740146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3782706867987073426.post-69832004333291027902013-12-26T08:53:00.000-06:002013-12-26T08:53:41.135-06:00Update on My LifeHow has life been treating the Skeptigirl? You may ask. Well, life is treating me well. I am still sick but I am happy. I have realized that there is so much more and better things to life. My world has expanded. Sometimes I am lonely, sometimes I am angry but regardless of being depressed I am very happy. I am sure that last part makes very little sense.<br />
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I no longer believe in romantic love, it is a load of poo. I seriously do not think I will ever get married again because I really do not see the point. I have loads of great friends and family and my self-esteem is really high, like arrogantly high. Come on, I am awesome, smart, likeable, talented and seriously good looking. I mean my looks are astronomical.<br />
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Anyways, life is good, no need to worry about me. Maybe I will post real blog post sometime soon, or a video, or something.Skeptigirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09114437797095740146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3782706867987073426.post-56189544863815889022013-10-04T07:56:00.000-05:002014-01-11T04:48:52.702-06:00How my Life Fell Apart 2, The Crawl Foreward<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">When someone asks me when I am Christian I usually tell them the story of when I got saved when I was eight and tell them that God spoke to my heart in love and asked to let him in and to become his beloved daughter. He asked nothing from me, only that I love him back. This loving back was not a condition for me to get his love, no. He loved me anyway.</span><br />
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He had created me and watched me grow and knew all my weaknesses and strenghts and saw me at my worst and at my best through out my life, before and after I met him. I have failed so many times in my life to love him back properly but his unconditional love has never wavered, lessened nor drawn back.</div>
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Tree months ago I tried to kill myself as a result of my husband leaving me for another woman and completely shaking and leveling my whole world. My family was all I had. I had nothing, I could not sleep or eat and I suffered from crippling axiety. </div>
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Suicide is a big no-no in Christianity, the unforgiveable sin, almost. In this case God not only forgave me but protected me and loved me even more noticeably than before because I needed it so much. He made sure I was picked up by the police who took me to the hospital where I recieved good care and recovered from the physical results of my suicide attempt. He also was with me in that dark place that I fell to. </div>
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After my husband pulled my entire world out from under me I was alone and could see no light but I was with Jesus in this lonely darkness. He held me as I wept in shock, sorrow and rage. He bore my childish fits of screaming "WHY!" He loved me not because I was so special but because he is love.</div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 1 John 4:8</span></div>
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I think I have come out on the other side of this tragedy. I have accepted that my once happy life with my family is over. I am making a new life for myself wth its highest goal being to find God's plan for me. If I am in God's will, I know I will be happy because: "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God" Roman's 8:28</div>
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I am still in the all things phase but I am starting to believe strongly that they will work out for good, soon. </div>
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I do not usually include verses in my posts but I have been gaining a great deal of comfort from these verses because I am missing a lot of tangible love that I once had in my life. It was ripped from me suddenly with no warning leaving me experiencing withdraval symptoms. So I hope you will indulge me posting one last verse that made me cry earlier because I was overwhelmed by its beauty.</div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="font-size: 0.75em; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;">38 </span>For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future,<span style="font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28155A" title="See cross-reference A">A</a>)"></span> nor any powers,<span style="font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28155B" title="See cross-reference B">B</a>)"></span></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"> </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="font-size: 0.75em; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;">39 </span>neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God<span style="font-size: 0.65em; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28156C" title="See cross-reference C">C</a>)"></span> that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39</span></div>
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Skeptigirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09114437797095740146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3782706867987073426.post-10716031003614711412013-05-25T13:53:00.001-05:002014-01-11T04:48:52.698-06:00How My Life Fell Apart, part 1<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">I wrote this essay/blog entry a day before yesturday. I did not post it because it did not feel like the right time yet. Now more has happened and it does seem like the right time to talk about my feelings I had then. I will write more soon, and tell more. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">When I
wrote a research paper in the ninth grade I did it because I suspected I was
depressed and I knew next to nothing about the subject. The first sentence of
my paper was a quote: “Depression is like a murky pool.” I never understood the
quote at the time but I thought the imagery was neat. For years I thought it
meant that understanding depression was like groping around in a murky pool,
you never knew what was underneath there. Now I understand, years later, that
being depressed is like being in a murky pool. You are alone, you can’t see
much. You cannot see the light above the surface clearly, if at all, and you
can’t breathe. You are being weighed down with lead weights tied around your
ankles. I was in that pool for years.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">The main
reason I got out was my husband’s help and support. He made me feel a love and
acceptance I had never experienced before and in that positive environment I
felt like I could be myself and slowly those lead weights came free. I did not
even notice the ropes slipping free and how I began to float towards the
surface and for the first time in a decade I was able to take a breath and see
clearly in the free light and air with my head above water.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">The
terrible thing in this story of beauty and triumph is that in my wonderful recovery
I hurt my husband a great deal. All those days, months and years of living with
a depressed person, wondering if they have hurt themselves or will you find
something worse when you come home, is very draining. Your life starts to
revolve around that person’s disease. You lose yourself and you chop off little
pieces of yourself to take care of your sick loved one. That is what happened
to my husband. </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">He not only
became burdened down with the weight of my lead weights he forgot who he was
and forgot why he even did it. I was like a vampire or a parasite slowly
sucking away his happiness and sense of self to gain those things for myself
and I never noticed that. We were happy. We loved each other. Our marriage,
despite all the financial and social things, was the real consistently good
thing in our lives. Or so I thought. I projected my happiness onto him. I
thought: I have become a better person in the course of this marriage; he
influenced me for the better. I must have done the same for him. We grew together.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">Well, that
is what I thought. It felt amazing to be liked, loved and accepted by someone
so completely, warts and all. I did have this nagging suspicion in the back of
my mind, somewhere in the worst fears section of my brain, that he did not like
me as much as I liked him. I figured it was just my old low self-esteem
talking. I mean he was so great, kind, patient and nice. He was so talented,
capable, funny and smart. I was a loser with no real talents or skills. My IQ
was painfully average, my humor was often bristly and mean and not nearly as
funny as I thought. On top of that my youthful good looks were not nearly as
youthful or good as they had once been. Come on, that is just my old
self-esteem and fear. I am great, people like me, I like me etc. I had all this
new found self-esteem and he told me he loved me like a million times a day, of
course he liked and loved me. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">Wrong, so
wrong, I had created my happy marriage as a work of one sided fiction. I just
really wanted this wonderful person to love me. It turned out all those little
worrying red flags I had experienced really were signs that not all was right.
My husband’s occasional signs of depression and not being able to keep friends
very actively. He was feeling like an old loser after he had stopped doing
things and hanging out with people because he felt he needed to just take care
of me and cater to my needs. There was the way he never complemented my
personality, intelligence, sense of humor or anything internal like that and
how all the compliments on my looks just stopped coming, even when I
specifically asked for compliments. I figured he did not need to do that, he
loved me anyway and it was ridiculous to need compliments, I needed to have my
confidence standing independently.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">Now here I
am, I have to peer to the surface of the murky pool and stare the plain truth
in the face. I am a loser. People like me only when they don’t know me. The one
person who truly knows me does not like me and this not liking has worn down
the love over the years making his responses of “I love you.” as hollow and
empty as a looted tomb. I just fell off a cliff, how are you doing?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Skeptigirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09114437797095740146noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3782706867987073426.post-47239849452252147492013-05-04T15:04:00.002-05:002013-05-04T15:23:27.279-05:00LGBTFI am back for the moment. I never said it was forever. I am probably not here to stay but might pop in at some point. I am sneaky and mysterious and all that. I just had something I wanted to write and here it is.<br />
<br />
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">I have
always been such a huge fan of the civil rights movement. I have always been
more of a Rosa Parks type of a fighter for freedom, than a Freedom Rider. I
will stand up for what is right when I need to but I am not actively
courageous. I wait for my moment to stand up for what I believe in. I am still
waiting for my opportunity because then I could say, look at me, these are my
principles, and this is what I believe in.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">In today’s
world racial equality is a given. That does not mean racism is not live and
well but it is not systematic, widespread and accepted. I keep thinking: What
is the today’s equivalent of the 1960’s segregation? My answer is there is not
an exact analog but in my life but prejudice against Muslims and homosexuals
comes close. I face both in my spiritual community. The prejudice against
Muslims is the reason I have effectively left my former church. As much as I
love the people I spend time with there, their attitudes against this
particular group of Semitic people are too much for me to take and so I left. I
mean I work there. I have committed to certain tasks which I can’t just leave
barring something absolutely egregious.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">The subject
of gay rights is another thing all together. I believe it is a human rights
issue to allow them to marry, adopt and have the same legal rights as couples
of the opposite sex. Adam and Steve all the way, so to speak. This is actually
an issue I cannot even take up to defend in a community of faith, or among most
of my family. I am an ally of the LGBT community. I am a Christian. If I can
justify women having the same rights legally, socially, and within the church
it is not hard to justify acceptance of homosexuals. What is the justifying of
a few verses versus a whole boatload of crap declaring women are as unto animals?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">I feel like
on this blog I have been too accommodating of differing opinion on this
particular topic. I mean, I still allow for differing opinion when it is done politely
100%, it is the ground on which this is built. What I mean my expression of the
issue. I think I have been molly coddling the bigots by expressing my opinions
in a watered down way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I must speak the
truth. I cannot in my heart believe that homosexuality is a sin. We cannot help
who we love and are attracted to. Not all of us are suited to the lifestyle of
celibate monks. We are not all Paul. “Now to the unmarried and the widows I
say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do.” 1 Corinthians 7:8. I am a
person made to be with someone. I am made to be in a couple with my husband.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">It was our
anniversary, Friday May 3. We have been married for nine years. I am prone to loneliness
and could not imagine making it through life without someone at my side. I
cannot deny that for a person who is predisposed to form a pair bond with a
person of the same gender. If someone can live life single, great for them, do
that. It frees you up for other, more important things. So if you are gay and
can remain single, fine do it. If you are straight and can do that I absolutely
encourage it and use the time you have free and untethered for the benefit of
others. Go out, change the world, write a blog and let me live through you
vicariously.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">I am still
waiting for a Rosa Parks moment. I am also dreading it because I really do not
feel comfortable coming out to friends and family as an ally. I have said that
I support gay marriage because I do not believe that the government should legislate
morality but no one knows that I believe it is possible to be gay, Christian
and a good person at the same time. I feel ashamed of this. I want to live in a
way that I can say this so that is why I am waiting for my Rosa Parks moment. I
am waiting for the moment I cannot stay silent. I am waiting for the moment
that something happens and my inner sense of justice forces me to declare the
truth. I want that because then I could say: “I am living according to my
principles, I am not a coward. Let the gays into the church and into fellowship
with us.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/1eTgwOe5_q8" width="560"></iframe><br /></div>
<br />
<br />
http://youtu.be/1eTgwOe5_q8Skeptigirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09114437797095740146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3782706867987073426.post-45656321264485394962013-01-11T04:05:00.002-06:002014-01-11T04:48:43.629-06:00Hi, and bye again, see you later.So, I am sorry I dissappeared for so long. I am not here to promise more posts soon, in fact I am here to say my blog will unfortunately continue its hibernation. It is not dead but in a coma. I am sorry to my three readers. Luckily I set my stuff to outo filter spam comments and those that make no sense in the context of the blog because I came back to a bunch of those. Nigerian spammers are into spell casting now. Here is a sampling, minus links because you don't want any of that.<br />
<br />
"my husband left me 4 months ago and move to another state leaving me
2000 miles apart from him . I have tried everything possible i am very
sad and hurt suddenly he started to hated me it seems one sec he love me
the next he hate me when ever we connect he gets really angry for no
reason and in a big rush and can't breath around me and as soon as were
apart he is fine he says i am very hot and it makes him uncomfortable to
hold me all i know is i sleep sleep sleep when were together cant seem
to wake up when he is away i am awake something is wrong.But just some
few weeks ago, someone introduce me to this spell caster on [somescammer]@gmail.com and the spell caster did a reunify spell for
me, just as i am writing now, if my husband dont see me in a second he
would rather do everything to meet me. I really want to thank the spell
caster for his great works spell. i owe him.you can met with him on [somescammer]@gmail.com."<br />
<br />
Can you understant that. I really can't. Not only is it BS, it is unreadable and from what I can tell turns into a story of a human rights violation in the next post. <br />
<br />
"My Name is Alex..I never believed in Love Spells or Magics until I met
this special spell caster once when i went to Africa to Execute some
business..He is really powerful.The woman i wanted to marry left me 2
weeks to our weeding ceremony and my life was upside down.she was with
me for 3 years and i really love her so much..she left me for another
man with no reason..when i called her she never picked up my calls and
she don’t want to see me around her…so,when i told the man what
happened.he helped me to do some readings,and after the readings he made
me to realize that the other man has done some spells over my wife and
that is the reason why she left me..he told me he will help me to cast a
spell that bring her back.At first i was skeptical but i just gave it a
try…In 5 days,she called me herself and came to me apologizing..I cant
believe she can ever come back to me again but now i am happy she’s back
and we are married now with lovely kid and we live as a happy family."<br />
<br />
If I believed this I would be terrified. This is worse than the Mormons babtising the dead. Creepy. I will make you love me with magic because how could you not love me? I mean that must be some crazy lesbian black magic and shit, cause I am so awesome.<br />
<br />
From the US, you say? Skeptigirl is so very skeptical.<br />
<br />
"My name is Diana Rossay i am from United States, I was in a relationship
with Ben and we loved and cherished ourselves for 3 good years and
every thing was going on smoothly but February 14, 2012 a day i can call
a lovers day we both had misunderstanding because i answered a call
from a guy that is asking me out for a date but i refused,and he told me
that the relationship is over and that he is fed up with me and i
begged him because i love him so much but he refused me i was so down
cast and i felt the world has come to an end for me but my friend told
me about a spell caster that helped her sister out in getting her
relationship back,a good job and favor in any of her endeavor but at
first i was scared but i have to give this man a trial because i love
Ben very much and i am not willing to loose him to any woman,so i
ordered returning my love spell from this great spell caster that made
me a happy woman again to say it all my ex came back to me with much
love and a caring heart."<br />
<br />
Well, go read something good now to cleanse your palate. I recommend snopes.com, it is a classic and http://www.sciencebasedmedicine.org/ is on point and giving useful information. Skeptigirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09114437797095740146noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3782706867987073426.post-90694907616199237792012-08-05T04:19:00.001-05:002012-08-05T04:23:25.959-05:00Chick-fil-A, I Jump InI try to stay out of most current issues on this blog because they incite feelings that are not in proper perspective yet. I have been hearing about this Chick-fil-A thing over facebook posted by my American friends. I am really shocked by how incapable of empathy the Christians involved are. I do not believe they are doing this out of hate but ignorance for the most part. I would like to help my fellow Christians understand what they are in fact doing by asking them to imagine. I would like to point out I may not know all the details because I am not actively following it, too lazy to research. Also I have a massive headache today and my focus is a little divided but I really wanted to write this.<br />
<br />
Let us change the name of the franchise really obviously, Pork-fil-A, the other white meat. They are proudly Atheist owned they have been promoting values of personal freedom for years and as a result discriminating against Christians because they believe in authoritarian values that go against their deeply held company philosophy. A prominent kid’s show partners with them by providing toys for their kid’s meals, both profit. The prominent kids show pulls said toys at a moment’s notice saying it is because of Pork-fil-A’s discriminatory practices against Christians. The owners of the kids show are pro-religious freedom and cannot abide with partnering with a company that discriminates against people due to their religious affiliation. Pork-fil-A openly claims it was not due to the values issue but because kids were getting hurt by the toys, people argue about it.<br />
<br />
Two camps are formed: One Atheist saying those toys were dangerous and Pork-fil-A has a right to not encourage those hateful, crusading, personal freedom denying Christians. Religion is a choice, they choose to believe in bigotry and hatred and endangering the values of personal freedom this country was built on. The other camp is those Christians so much persecuted since the Roman days feeling pushed down again feeling like the kids show had stood up for them and their rights to believe what they want and live how they want. After all religion is not a choice, really, when God speaks you listen and follow. How could you deny God? It is their identity after seeing the living God they can’t help it. They realized Jesus was the way and against oppression and unbelievable prejudice and possibility of persecution they came out of the religious closet and declared they would not live a lie anymore and be honest about who they were. Then the Atheist activist camp decides to support this brave company and all go there and buy sand witches en masse. I mean they are good and support the cause of personal freedom they believe in so much and they need to be supported. Meanwhile the Christians feel persecuted because the company that is anti-God, anti-Christian is being so publicly supported for their discrimination of who they are. They see it as an act of hate against them. They live in a society that says: Be quiet about who you are and what you believe in because if you are honest you will not be given the rights to be who you are, but Crist told them not to hold their light under a bushel and they want to let that light shine and not to live a lie. These people are rallying at Pork-fil-A to say: Lie, don’t be who you are and suffer the depression and anxiety that comes with being a closet believer.<br />
<br />
Well, maybe that helps. God gave us the ability to see the other side to walk in the shoes of others. Jesus went and ate and talked with sinners and Samaritans and got to know them and to understand them as people and why they were the way they were. Why shouldn’t we? If we are unable to see why homosexual people are feeling discriminated against by the dollar vote we are not looking at the issue as Jesus would have. We are ignorant and doing hateful things out of love, twisted isn’t it.Skeptigirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09114437797095740146noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3782706867987073426.post-57877281604226665282012-07-22T14:28:00.000-05:002012-07-22T14:36:29.744-05:00'I thank you, God, that I am not a sinner like everyone else.' says my church<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Luke 18:11 Seems to be the attitude of my church.</span><br />
<br />
<span lang="EN-US">As I have
mentioned I am in the middle of a project to live in faith. It was going really
well, I was feeling happy and balanced and I felt like I was making some real
progress in my efforts to be more forgiving and getting rid of all that anger I
have stored up inside of me from all the times I have been hurt by other
Christians. Then I stopped praying every day and I started getting angry again
and stopped being productive. During the time I was praying every day I was
able to keep my house clean for the first time in my life. I read a ton and not
just the Bible either. I started writing a novel and got to 30,000 words. </span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Then I
stopped and my house went to hell in a hand basket, and I have harder and
harder time working on my novel. So here I am feeling like my experiment was successful
and I want to go back to it. The worse side is now I really cannot stand my church.
I had been avoiding going so I won’t get
triggered but today I had to go to the service and the guy preaching was the
dude who keeps contradicting himself and I really have no idea if I disagree
with him or not. It is infuriating. One moment he says all the rules of the Old
Testament are still one hundred percent valid and should be followed and we
cannot pick and choose, like the liberal Christians. Then the says we need discernment
in knowing which rules to follow and goes on to explain how the rules are still
valid. Is it just me or is there something missing? The worst part is this is
exactly what he preaches every time he gets in the pulpit. He also says some of
the most insulting things. He implies Muslims are evil, instead of just
misinformed. There is a huge difference there, one is okay to say in a church
and can be said with love, the other is not okay and has no love in it. Also
when the tsunami happened in Japan he said it took place because there was so
much idol worship there.<br /></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">He is not
the only one who says these things in service. Last week I did not go but a guy
preached on how HIV was a punishment from God for immorality. I cannot bear
this. I just cannot seem to gain anything of spiritual value from majority of
the sermons at my church. There are a few people who preach and they are good
but when there are just as many a**holes up there it just does not seem worth
it. I have very few other churches available to me and the morning service in
Finnish is just as bad. The last sermon that was delivered by the regular
pastor was on the homosexual agenda.</span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Then I saw
this posted on my church’s facebook group (presented in its original form all
spelling and grammar original):</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-left: 65.2pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-outline-level: 6;">
<b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 7.5pt;">Dear friends
and prayer partners in Christ vineyard,<br />
<br />
This is very sad news, but I have to tell you about it. On August 2nd
homosexualists want to organise the gay parade in Jerusalem. When I got this
info my heart was so sad! How can it be in Jerusalem – the holy city of King of
Kings?! Our role is to be high priest and to prepare the way for returning of
the King of Glory!<br />
<br />
If you are jealous for Jerusalem and the atmosphere in the Holy city please
join us in the prayer for Jerusalem! We are going to meet on July 23 in the
evening at 19.00 in the center of Jerusalem. I have some info about where the
gay parade was pland to be (in which streets). We can walk the same streets and
pray and proclaim the word of God and to devote these streets to God that unclean
spirit can not touch this land and holy city! We are called to stay in the gap
for Jerusalem not only in the physical world, but also in the spiritual world.
It doesn’t matter which language you speak, but if you live in Jerusalem or
other cities of Israel you are welcome to come and join us!<br />
<br />
Our role as the high priest is to pray also for forgiveness of these people,
who are homosexualists, and to confess their sins before God, because our war
is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers,
against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of
wickedness in the heavenly places. (Eph.6:12) And more that this, we have
special authority from God to do it! "Behold, I have given you authority
to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and
nothing will injure you (Lk.10:19).<br />
<br />
You can invite your friends to pray with us in the streets of Jerusalem. If you
do not live in Israel or if you can not come to Jerusalem, we want to encourage
you to pray alone or to organise a special prayer meeting with people from your
church in this day.<br />
<br />
“If I forget you, O Jerusalem, may my right hand forget her skill. May my
tongue cling to the roof of my mouth, If I do not remember you, If I do not
exalt Jerusalem Above my chief joy.” (Ps.137:5-6)...PLS INCLUDE THIS IN YOUR
PRAYER CLOSET ...Thanks</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<span lang="EN-US">I am just
absolutely overwhelmed by the ignorance and intolerance. <a href="http://joh.org.il/index.php/pride" target="_blank">This parade</a> is
actually an annual event that has been going on for over 13 years and has seen
its share of violence with participants having been stabbed and otherwise
attacked. I will be praying for the safety of the participants.<br /><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I feel
really stuck. I wish to belong to a church but living in Finland I do not have
a whole lot of choice. I have not joined this church for the reasons complained
about above. The community is wonderful, I love the people. The woman who posted this is a wonderfully
sweet woman but so willfully ignorant I might die from contemplating it. So is
everyone. I like the sense of belonging to a community of immigrants that is so
close knit but I cannot be truly honest with them.<br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">What are
the alternatives? Home churching? Well, home churching is done by creepy
fundies. Also the Bible says we need to
be a part of a faith community. Here are my other options: Baptists, Methodists,
Freechurchers (The Evangelical Free Church of Finland), the Quakers that meet
only once a month and not in the summer, Lutherans and the traditional
Pentecostals. From what I have heard, one the Baptists churches is even worse
around here, also we checked out their website and there were a ton of red
flags. I suppose we could give the other church a try. I could try the
Methodists, I know the pastor. I have translated some teaching materials for
them. Also I could try the Freechurch. The Quakers are a little different brand
of Quakerism and I really fear we would not fit in there spiritually like we
did in our old church that we still belong to, but we could still try. The
Lutherans are fine, I suppose, but they have a tendency to be a little
spiritually dry and not committed, let’s just say they are a really respectable
institution. They are exactly what you would expect out of a state church of a
free and democratic nation. The Traditional Pentecostal church, we they are
traditional, like they don’t let women preach, at all.<br /><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">My
immediate plans are to get back to daily prayer and reading the Bible. Then I
will attempt to go church shopping to the Methodists and the Freechurch and see
if there are other alternatives.<br /> </span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/35TbGjt-weA" width="560"></iframe></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>Skeptigirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09114437797095740146noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3782706867987073426.post-23341866230939922042012-07-02T04:44:00.000-05:002012-07-02T04:44:32.382-05:00A Demon Haunted World (or not)<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">Is a tittle
of a book but it is also a world view some people have that I don’t. Some
people see the world, literally, as a battle ground between the forces of good
and evil, angels and demons. People like this hear demonic voices whispering to
them. Everything wrong with everyone is cause by demons. Think Screwtape
Letters by C.S. Lewis.</span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"> </span>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">I have a
friend who sees the world exactly like that. She sees herself as exceptionally
sensitive to the spirit world, maybe she is. I cannot feel what she feels or
live in her head. I kind of find this infuriating because this gives power to
all the self-deluding charlatans claiming spiritual powers and it is the
antithesis of how I live my life.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">To me the
existence of demons and angels and of this battle is irrelevant. I read a short
story once. I cannot remember where or what it was called but it was about a
boy who lived in a medieval world and in that world everyone else saw angels
singing hallelujah to the Lord as the sun rose and people were healed, curse,
helped, by magic spells. This was a disability that set him apart of the rest
of the world and was seen as defective. He wondered things like: What makes the
sun burn? What is the source of its fuel? The moon and the sun must have
different fuel because they have different light? What is the moons fuel? It
also turned out he had an advantage over all the others. Sure, he could not see
the wonder they saw, he could not be blessed or healed by supernatural means
but he was also immune to all spells, curses and supernatural devices.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">I feel like
him. I don’t see these demonic powers neither can they hurt me. I don’t feel
demonic voices in my head. Not that I don’t want to live in this fantastical world full of wonder, I just don’t. I think I
know why my friend believes so readily in these powers. She used to be consumed
by guilt because thoughts popped in her head that did not go along with the
beatitudes. She looked for answers and thought it was just her, defective her,
and she was consumed by guilt. Then she realized it was demons and she was
absolved of guilt and self-loathing and now she just tells them to be quiet and
it works. </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">I was just
the same, thoughts that I did not want crowded my head, I was besieged by
desires and I could not stop them and I was consumed by guilt. Then I realized
that Jesus had not been only crucified for my past sins but my current sins and
all my future sins. He forgave me so I forgave myself and realized that quilt
was not necessary. Repentance did not have to follow intense guilt because
forgiveness had already taken place. Acknowledgement and conviction was all
that was necessary. My guilt left and so did all those desires and thoughts. My
guilt made me obsess and now that was gone and so were uncontrolled thoughts. I
was free and so was my mind. She accepted that demons were whispering to her
and I accepted that I was forgiven. Both resulted in a feeling of freedom and
control. We indeed are very different.</span></div>Skeptigirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09114437797095740146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3782706867987073426.post-89384373798827729922012-06-30T05:02:00.001-05:002012-06-30T05:02:24.448-05:00True Forgiveness<p>When I was praying the other day, before writing about my experiment I believe I felt the presence of God and also that I got told to go to the prayer meeting, Other stuff happened too actually. I addressed my resentments with the church to the Lord. I felt Him telling me I should be more patient and loving and forgive and as that happened I realized that I had never forgiven. I always thought I did. I merely forgot about it but at every reminder the resentment bubbled up. True forgiveness is not given for the sake of the other person but for the sake of our own wellbeing and I realized that I am not sure how to forgive. The list of grievances keeps growing and none are taken away through genuine forgiveness on my part and it is poisoning me and stopping me from enjoying the benefits I can receive through genuinely forgiving the wrongs I have experienced. <p>I am a particularly bad case because I take offence for impersonal things. Someone at church makes a racist comment about Muslims, well, I take it personally because I seem to have internalized the Martin Luther King Jr. quote about injustice anywhere is an injustice everywhere so they might as well be talking about me. I felt the need to pray for the ability to forgive, because I am not sure how, and they keep in bits poisoning me. I cannot truly learn from the experience until forgiveness is brought about, then I can use my past experience in an impassionate way and know how to enact change. </p> Skeptigirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09114437797095740146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3782706867987073426.post-29287284110129230282012-06-29T04:39:00.001-05:002012-06-29T04:39:57.499-05:00Prayer Meeting<p>Well, none of you must be dying to find out what happened at the prayer meeting: Nothing spectacular. It was just like most other Pentecostal prayer meetings I went to minus the war vet freaking out due to his PTSD (he is a great guy and looks so sad all the time, I try to talk to him and greet him often but we have a language barrier, his Finnish is not the best and also he is shut off and I don’t know what to talk about with him). <p>I felt a little silly about it the next day after hearing God but I went anyway because, well, if I am going to live in a way that I allow God to lead me, I better follow even if nothing comes of it. So I went. As I expected, the praise and worship was boring but I like singing so I sang along and enjoyed it but as always was not able to connect to God. I can never feel God when I am singing along to P&W songs because I am concentrating on singing, not worshipping. So the P&W songs came and God was not in them. We prayed, but God was not in that either. I am not comfortable connecting to God with other people making noise around me. This really bothered me after I moved here leaving behind my Quaker congregation with its nice silent worship. I was starting to think by the time the sermon started that God would not show up for me. Then the music pastor started to talk about receiving the Holy Spirit and how it may not be something that happens all at once so we need to extend out our metaphorical cups and just wait and say: “God I am here, I am waiting.” We wait and if it does not fill we say: “Okay not today, but maybe tomorrow, I am here Lord.” Then we wait patiently and keep praying and extending out cup out. I thought that was an interesting contrast with the typical impatient Pentecostal attitude that you pray and strain like you are about to poop a bowling ball to receive the Holy Spirit RIGHT FREAKING NOW! <p>After the sermon we prayed some more and some people prayed in tongues, at low volume like whispering, this was a great contrast to most Pentecostal churches where the point is to get God to listen to you by seeing who can yell gibberish loudest through their tears. There was no overwhelming experience for the Skeptigirl of shaking in the Spirit or speaking in tongues but I think I know why I went and the journey continues. <p>So, if you read this far, time for the fun part. Let me tell you about the usual cast of characters at the prayer meeting, other than my PTSD friend. There was the token drunk guy. The actual drunk guy changes from meeting to meeting but there is always one. Sometimes he is disruptive and has to be escorted out by security but this time he was merely warned and did not get more disruptive than yelling out flowery but repetitive compliments for the praise band about every one of their songs. He sat in the back so we all heard them and the P&W band was amused and complimented. Then there were of course the proper Pentecostal disapproving old ladies who took a look back at him and scowled every time he piped up. He snuck in a twelve pack of beer somehow, and while I never saw him drinking it he was missing six cans by the end of the service. Then there were a few ladies dancing unobtrusively in their places a few people raising their hands and a developmentally disabled guy who was really, really into it.</p> Skeptigirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09114437797095740146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3782706867987073426.post-45522762190844594992012-06-26T14:01:00.001-05:002012-06-26T14:07:09.560-05:00Gifts of the Spirit<br />
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<span lang="EN-US">Some of you
might be wondering if this blog is changing direction, I really don’t know but
you could be. Let me assure you it is not. This blog has been about the same
thing the whole way through: My spiritual journey and the questions I ask and
the problems I have. This new direction on the same journey is me asking is the
leading of the Holy Spirit real and useful? What does it look like and what
would it look like? Will I speak in tongues and make a complete fool of myself
and appear to be a fraud? Will I just gain direction in my life? Perhaps what I
will find out is that the whole experiment was useless and nothing came from
it. I don’t know, you don’t know but I am hoping me you, my <10 readers,
will find out.</span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">So I was
thinking what are the gifts of the spirit again, I really cannot remember. I
think there is prophecy and praying/speaking in tongues, the others I cannot
remember. Up on looking up the possible gifts I could expect, if this whole
thing pans out, there are nine. They are located in 1 Corinthians Ch. 12: </span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 10pt;">1) Word of Wisdom</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 10pt;">2) Word of Knowledge</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 10pt;">3) Faith</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 10pt;">4) Gifts of Healing</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 10pt;">5) Working of Miracles</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 10pt;">6) Prophecy</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 10pt;">7) Discerning of Spirits</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 10pt;">8) Divers (or different) kinds of Tongues</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 10pt;">9) Interpretation of (different) Tongues</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black;">I think I know what some of
them are but I have never seen a convincing case of any of them. I have been
going to a Pentecostal church of one sort or another majority of my life. I
have heard tongues but I have never been convinced about them (read <a href="http://skeptigirl-blog.blogspot.fi/2012/05/my-opinions-on-pentecostalicism.html" target="_blank">my post on tongues</a> to find out more). I was wanting to write a post on prophecy called:
”Prophecy: The Most Useless Gift” I think that sums up my attitude on that
point. I still may write it as a part of my experiment series of posts.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black;">I do know what some of the
others are due to my very Pentecostal background. Word of wisdom is getting an
insight about a person and giving them good advice without prior knowledge of
the problem. That in my opinion would be an awesome gift to have. I always
wanted to be a wise guru or something. Wisdom is actually one of top five
qualities I ask for when I pray. </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black;">Word of knowledge is similar.
It is getting information about a person or a situation without prior
knowledge. Like if your dog got hit by a car and I came up to you just hours
after not having heard about it and said to you: “I am sorry that your dog
died.” that would be an example of word of knowledge.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black;">Faith, hmm, I mean I know what
faith is but I am not sure what it means as a gift of the spirit. This confuses
me.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black;">The gift of healing is the biggest
Christian fool-them-and-take-their-money industry in my opinion. I have never
encountered a person who had the ability to heal others. If those people who
hold big crusades claim to have it why are they holding big crusades and raking
in the money instead going to the children’s cancer ward and touching and
healing children until they get kicked out for it?</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black;">Working of miracles, I don’t
know. I have seen what I deem to be miracles in my own life but none of them
were worked by anyone. I have never seen anyone work a miracle. I have always
just seen things happen like running out of money and not knowing where the
food/money came from, well usually I knew exactly where it came from but it
always came. Thank our friends, thank God or thank random chance. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black;">Prophecy, never seen it. I
mean I have seen people “prophesy” but it was in distinguishable from them
making stuff up. I will continue to be skeptical of this until I hear a
specific prophecy and it come true specifically. Not a vague Nostradamus like
mess and then try to cobble it to mean a hundred different things it could fit
due to its vagueness.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black;">Discerning of spirits
basically means the ability to see demons. Like the old monk in The Brothers
Karamazov by Tolstoy you see demonic influences everywhere. It could also be
paranoia or schizophrenia but I really should not judge.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black;">Divers tongues, well, I
suppose that maybe speaking/praying in tongues but from what I have heard they
are not diverse at all and all sound the same, not at all like what the Bible
describes in Acts. My father says that he has heard non-Italian speaking Finns
speak perfect Italian during services and say real coherent things that were
relevant, but I have no personal experience with this sort of speaking/ praying
in tongues.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black;">Interpretation of tongues is
the yin to the speaking in tongues yang. It is the supernatural interpretation
of the speaking. I have heard it many times, I do not get it.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black;">So, I am praying to receive
some of these gifts now. Maybe I will receive them and then understand them. Never
had a single one of them, or seen others have them in a way I could believe
that they would be real, so I have no idea if they are real or not and how they
feel and work. Let’s see what happens. I believe in God, it is his people that
I don’t believe.</span></div>Skeptigirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09114437797095740146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3782706867987073426.post-57383202642503809612012-06-25T15:39:00.001-05:002012-06-26T14:02:16.376-05:00An Experiment in FaithThis is the start of something a little different in this blog. I have done casual spiritual tourist investigations into the Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses. Now I present the first Skeptigirl experiment into the spiritual.<br />
<br />
I am an extremely logical and practical person with in my spiritual frame work. I am not easily persuaded by signs and wonders and no Christian charlatan will get on over me. I have decided to start on an experiment. I am going to try to live more "intuitively" or not exactly. I do not believe in intuition and there is no evidence for it in double blind studies. There is something else that there is no evidence for in double blind studies either but I believe in it, at least in concept, the Holy Spirit.<br />
<br />
As I said that I have been feeling a bit down. I have been feeling better and the empty feeling in my chest has dissappeared either through prayer, or through something else, while correlation does not imply causation, I have been praying a lot. I have also been reading a book called Chasing the Dragon (by Jackie Pullinger) and it is about a woman who just does what God asks her to do and succeeded as a missionary in a pretty tough place with some tough people. <br />
<br />
I have decided to ask for God's guidance and see where it takes me. God has created me a skeptic, he wants me to be a skeptic, but I think he also wants me to try out the mystical side of faith and get deeper in the the wierd. I felt what I think is the Holyspirit, can't say for sure but we will see what happens. I also got this feeling I should go to the next service my church holds. Lately I have been not going because I am getting nothing out of it and on top of that the next service is the Tuesday night prayer meeting FMI (excuse the unchristian abreviation). I hate Pentecostal prayer meetings, so many people praying at once that I can't even hear myself think in the cacaphony. The Spirit seems to be taking me to the unlikeliest meeting my church offers, let's see where this goes.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAB8MJysFoLJtyRMomXcbkEZ8VvsWIDoUZ2DlCm3wzmHsVNPl6eefBbLukFiVpn-0QyAGWA6FXNKjt7CJohBw08LWIrSpT8dlXCj5WL-0aQ5YQ7oy2zTXGXrnF4ZsMO2OyxF_yVqpFggLL/s1600/lazerbeam_doveHS.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAB8MJysFoLJtyRMomXcbkEZ8VvsWIDoUZ2DlCm3wzmHsVNPl6eefBbLukFiVpn-0QyAGWA6FXNKjt7CJohBw08LWIrSpT8dlXCj5WL-0aQ5YQ7oy2zTXGXrnF4ZsMO2OyxF_yVqpFggLL/s320/lazerbeam_doveHS.jpg" width="194" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">In the mean while I hope you enjoy this dove with lazerbeams coming out of its bellybutton :)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />Skeptigirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09114437797095740146noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3782706867987073426.post-56346859394927788332012-06-21T04:59:00.001-05:002012-06-21T04:59:05.739-05:00Depression Descending<p> <p align="center"><a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/--TCP_Zn73OI/T-LwZCf3eKI/AAAAAAAAAF8/KYcC6rakNx8/s1600-h/depression%252520alone%25255B11%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="depression alone" border="0" alt="depression alone" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-0mtNjD_b8mk/T-LwZ-hgpEI/AAAAAAAAAGE/V7LutAbNYB4/depression%252520alone_thumb%25255B9%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="254" height="149"></a> <p>There is no getting over it. The Skeptigirl is starting to get depressed. I only admitted it to the Skeptiboy last night when we got into bed. I haven’t been depressed for several years now, maybe three or four. Sure I have felt down but I have not been able to sustain it and I have bounced back. Everything has been getting really hard lately. I am panicking at night about small stuff I have to do and haven’t done. Well, I go through phases like that but overall it was the reason I failed out of college. I also feel lonely and empty inside my chest, now that is not a phase, it is only something I feel when I am really truly depressed. This makes me worried. <p>I am not exactly sure why I feel this way. My first guess might be to think it is because a recent string of disappointments and failures I have had like being rejected from the program of study I applied for, or the financial troubles we had because I messed up on my paperwork and lost my unemployment benefits for over a month, or that I cannot get job practice positions I want because other people do not think I am as awesome as I do. That still should not cause this. My depression has never really been circumstance related, especially since I am still optimistic about my future and have plans for it. <p>I also have trouble feeling God listening when I pray. I am not sure why but when I really settle down for a long conversation I just feel like I am talking to the walls. Also my disappointment with the people of God is rearing its ugly head. I am getting nothing but plain old friendship and company from my church community. There is just one guy who is a bit “special” in whom I feel the spirit of God (you know people who are just a little abnormal but completely functional and normally intelligent, just different). Seeing him and talking to him really encourages me. The rest seem kind of plastic. Actually I see no difference in them, or feel it for that matter, from the Jehovah’s Witnesses or the Mormons. I don’t feel the true spirit of God in any of them. I know “feeling” the spirit of God is vague and I am not authoritative gauge of God’ Spirit and the problem could be with me. An atheist would say “You aren’t feeling it because it is not there, idiot!” I think the best way I could describe how it feels is a feeling of gentle love and genuine concern. It is in the way a person listens and takes an interest in another and opens themselves up and acts out of love. I feel that in me sometimes when I help others and take a genuine interest in them and truly love them unconditionally. I am not good with that, I have never been, but sometimes I manage to love the way God intends. <p>In conclusion, I am depressed and having a religious crisis and getting nothing out of my church fellowship. Also, as Ghandi is thought to have said: “I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.” (<a href="http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Mohandas_Karamchand_Gandhi">source</a>, the disputed section)</p> Skeptigirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09114437797095740146noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3782706867987073426.post-78861510042423478682012-06-15T03:48:00.000-05:002012-06-15T03:48:07.559-05:00My Dream Lastnight<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">So I saw a
dream just before waking.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was taking an exam. It was an essay exam. It
was about the "Glorious past and the glorious future" in Christianity
but for some reason I had started to write about music and had lost the
question paper. When lunch time came I went to retrace my steps and Look for it
so I could re-read the question. On the way down some stairs I was looking on
the steps for the paper. Two kids came and asked me, politely and full of fear,
to go because an older gentleman was coming and he was in a bad mood and
possibly intoxicated. I was really pissed off at this point and spoke very
rudely at the girl and she was visibly shaken. As I started to walk towards the
eating area I started feeling tremendous guilt and could not figure out where
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own and I saw the kids. I avoided the older gentleman and quickly and sincerely
apologized to the girl. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">Then things
got a little hazy in the dream for a while but it turned out that the older man
was the MAGICIAN I was looking for. I went to him with my SIDEKICK and we spoke
to him we ended up having a fight and it turned out he was not the real
magician but had taken over all his moth eaten equipment as he passed away. As a
result of the fight he was now dying, or maybe it was for unrelated reasons,
like I said it was a little hazy. As he was dying he told us that a friend of
ours was actually his son, he was an expert on MAGICAL ARTIFACTS. He asked if
we could tell our friend of this familial connection and give him an object. As
he was handing it to me when we both held it he said some magic words and he
yelled maniacally afterwards:</span></div>
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fool, now I have released my UNDEAD ARMY!!!!" Then he died. Me and my side
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son was still the best course of action because he was the expert and might be
able to figure all this out. We ran to the front door of my childhood home
(apparently we had ended up in my dream's place of residence and center of
operations). I cautiously opened the door and peered outside. It was a bright
sunny summer day and just as I had expected no sign of the undead army because
they could not have spread this far in just the few seconds it had taken. We
ran to the garage. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">"No,"
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armored." I got in on the passenger side, because I cannot drive, and he
on the driver's side.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">"Well
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bows." I replied.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">We rode off
and I activated the home security system and called our expert. </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">"Let’s
go down this road, it is like a hundred meters longer way but it may help us
avoid the zombies but we still have to drive by the cemetery." I said to
my sidekick. As we got to the stretch of road that went by the highway, remember
it was still a beautiful sunny day; there were maybe a dozen zombies on the
road, only that many had gotten out of the cemetery so far. Then WE JUST RODE
RIGHT INTO THEM WITH THE BATTLE VAN, IT WAS SO COOL!</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Then I woke up.</div>Skeptigirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09114437797095740146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3782706867987073426.post-46716830560431540782012-05-27T05:18:00.000-05:002012-05-27T05:18:38.950-05:00Movie Review: Courageous<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">I usually do not do movie reviews or really watch
movies but I received a copy of the movie <a href="http://courageousthemovie.com/themovie" target="_blank">Courageous</a> for my birthday a few
weeks ago. Skeptigirl now is an old lady of 30 and calling herself a girl is
sounding more and more absurd. Well anyway my pastor loved it so much that he
bought many copies of it and then I opportunely had a birthday and so he gave one
to me. At first I thought, how nice of him, I have not gotten a birthday
present for some years. Then I thought “’From the makes of Fireproof.’ Doesn’t
that have bananaman’s lover acting in it?” Then I calmed my prejudice and
reminded myself that I have never seen these actors in anything else so there
is no reason to look at it with anything but an open mind. So I entered into
the movie watching experience as open mindedly as possible…</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">…and I was pleasantly surprised. 3/5 stars. I liked it
despite the omens and might watch it again, one day. I thought the acting was
the best I had seen in a Christian movie. The dialogue was good, natural and
funny. I have heard people have conversations like that before. It has a few obligatory
preachy spots and witnessing moments but they were not any more awkward than in
real life. In fact I have seen many more awkward ones in reality. So I liked
it, but I did not love it.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">Why did I not love it? Why not 4/5 stars or 5/5? Three
reasons: It had no female characters. You, a person who have seen it, may say: “But
what about the wives?” Yes, what about them? The men had wives and two of them
had daughters. Were the wives real characters in my opinion? No they weren’t.
They were props without personality. There is a test (http://bechdeltest.com/)
you can do that will tell you if a movie is female friendly. This movie fails
on all but the first criteria, having female characters. The women are never
seen in a scene without their husbands. If there is a scene the wife is in
without her husband you can bet he is a few seconds away from entering it or
she is talking to him on the phone. The women develop in no way whatsoever.
Well the last one is fine. The movie is about the men after all. The women are
just wives that make them going out and working and having progeny possible.
They are the helpmeets and not interesting or important in the movie. In fact
they are children.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">This move treats women like children. I actually would
have liked this movie better if the women had been removed from it and the men
would have been single dads or something. The movie is about men taking
responsibility for their families and children. I suppose that is fine but they
are taking responsibility for their wives too. Instead of giving them the
respect as fellow adult human beings equally responsible for raising their
shared children they are reduced to these adult children. In their pledge they
say they will take responsibility for their wives. Are the wives taking equal
responsibility for them? that is not addressed. I think it would be enough for
them to just be responsible for their own actions and behavior and their
children instead of trying to parent adult women who need to be responsible for
their own actions. I am not saying married couples should not help and support
each other but there is no way you can be responsible and take care of another
adult in that way and not reduce them the a child. It is nasty to be married to
one’s own child.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">Then lastly, this may be anticlimactic because it is
just one scene and not really that big of a deal to me next to the <span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">infantilization<b> </b></span>of adult women.
There is this gross saccharine scene where one of the fathers takes his
daughter to a fancy restaurant all dressed up for dinner and at the end gives
her a worth the wait ring. This scene mirrors, and I think is meant to, a
marriage proposal. This seems harmless but it disgusts the crap out of me and
it seems incestuous. Why is this? He is just treating her like an adult. I am
all for giving your kids the respect of treating them like adults and how will
they act like adults if you don’t treat them like it? The problem to me is that
he chooses to treat her like an adult in a sexualized context. Sure it is
innocent and chaste but he treats her the way he would treat a woman he was
dating, in the process of courting that would lead to sex. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">Why does he have to treat her like a woman he is
dating? Is that the only way he knows to relate to adult women? Is that all
they are good for? All women are to men inside Christian culture is marriage
material or sexual objects. Is that so much different than in the main stream
culture? After all mating as successfully as possible is what we have been
evolved to do and be. Does this mean we need to blindly follow this drive and perpetuate
this evolutionary imperative? No. I think Christians have a greater
responsibility to rebel against what we have evolved to and not get stuck on
the rising ape but try to focus on the fallen angel. We are more than our drive
for reproduction. We are souls and we are infinitely valuable and not just in
the context of pairing up, marrying and having babies. We are so much more than
just men and women; we are immortal souls that thirst after righteousness and
God. I really wish we could have Christian media that focused on us as something
more than breeding machines, as complex human beings capable of so much more
beyond the sum of our parts.</span></div>Skeptigirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09114437797095740146noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3782706867987073426.post-48548534266853662162012-05-23T04:48:00.000-05:002012-05-23T04:48:52.332-05:00Good ReadsI am on the site Good Reads and have no friends on it. If you use it look me up I am Skeptigirl on there and I use the same avatar. You can see my taste in books and (ghasp) romance novels.Skeptigirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09114437797095740146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3782706867987073426.post-56607318797176464892012-05-08T09:41:00.001-05:002012-05-08T09:41:39.217-05:00A Conclusion About Jehovah’s Witnesses<p>I feel like I have learned a lot during the almost year we have been visited by Jehovah’s Witnesses. For one thing they are nice people, two I like all the ones I have met, three there is no way I would want to be a Jehovah’s Witness. They are not that weird, the way they present the faith is actually incredibly simplistic feeling. I can’t stand reading the Watchtower and other ones of their publications because I feel like I am reading a children’s publication for adults. <p>I would like to present to you a few things I think are really great about the faith and the things that keep me from wanting to be a part of it. <p><strong>The Good:</strong> <p>1. They take the sixth commandment seriously. Thou shalt not kill. Pretty basic but they really honor it which is something mainstream Christianity weasels itself out of. They won’t kill even in wars at great peril to themselves. It is a principle I can agree with. <p>2. When you walk into a Kingdom Hall you feel welcome, they really make an effort and everyone makes you feel like you are a smart and interesting person. I don’t know if it is sincere but I liked it and my church does not exude that level of niceness, not that they are unfriendly, they just don’t make as much of an effort. This, however, is only based on two experiences one at a kingdom hall the other at a conference type of an event I went to one Saturday. <p>3. They take turns preaching and teaching. I believe there is no pastor and any qualified man gets a turn at the pulpit to deliver the message. I do not know if this is open to women too. <p>4. There is a discussion of the material that everyone has been studying after the message and anyone; man, woman or child who has read the material and has an answer, example or opinion is called on. <p>5. Everyone is involved in the ministry regardless of gender or race. They have no history of racial discrimination. <p>6. Our Jehovah’s witnesses are very knowledgeable about their faith, I assume others are too. <p>7. The Jehovah’s Witnesses have done a lot for free speech in the US. Their fight for their own religious freedoms gave the rest of us more and better freedoms. Not that it was intentional but they do not grudge others the same freedoms that they have. Thanks to them I was not suspended or disciplined for not pledging allegiance to an indifferent piece of cloth in middle school. I can appreciate that. <p><strong>Well, on to the bad, or at least the things that do not appeal to me:</strong> <p>1. If I were to sum up the basic message I have heard, so far, the important bit is: Jehovah’s name! I mean, I am starting out with a nitpicky thing I know but it was the first thing that jumped out at me. If the emphasis was: Jehovah! Fine, but his name? I was sure I was merely arguing over semantics but after bringing up the subject I realized there is something incredibly confusing and of putting in this little hair splitty issue here. Not that I care, but they do so that is why I bring it up. I think I mentioned this before but let me do it again. Here I repackage Mrs. JW’s metaphor. If there are a group of men outside and I shout out “husband!” instead of my spouse’s name maybe half of them turn around, assuming they are all married thinking my voice sounds like their wives’ but they quickly turn back around after realizing I am not her. They rest never turned around because my voice was too different. Only my husband will come over and be like “What’s up wifey? May I make you a sandwich?” The Skeptiboy is a sweetheart, isn’t he? After rewriting the metaphor calling him by name no longer seems important because he knows me, just like God, or Jehovah, knows me. Let’s look at it closely and I will now show you why this metaphor is entirely inappropriate and not apt for the situation. The real situation is that my husband, representing God here once again, is alone outside. There is no one else there. No other married men and I can call him whatever the sap I want to because there can be no one else to answer and just like God he will say “Yes?” and ask me what I want. The part that disturbs me is that having to use God’s name assumes that there are other gods that could mistake me calling for them or that God won’t know that I am talking to Him. I am monotheistic, I know the JWs are too but this just makes no sense to me. <p>2. Everyone is involved in the ministry. I know I listed this as a good thing, it is, but there is really only one ministry that truly counts, the one where you are evangelizing. I do not believe that everyone has that gift. If someone does not the JW’s shove square pegs into round holes. I am not gifted in that area. I am gifted in the start internet fights area. Just kidding about the fights but really, not one of my gifts. Sure you are allowed to use your other God given gifts for His glory as long as you also do this one activity that you may not be gifted at. We cannot all be eyes, some of us are big toes, often over looked and not nearly as important as other parts put still having a function and most importantly being a part of the body. I maybe a big toe; I mean I think serving may be my gift. No glamour in that but I sure feel rewarded helping out and working behind the scenes at my church. Then again, anyone can do that, see what I mean. <p>3. Jehovah’s Witnesses are discouraged from socializing with non-Witnesses except to convert them. I mean they are allowed to talk to outsiders, no one is an island and they bank and grocery shop and work and have to converse and get acquainted with people but if they start getting to be too friendly the witnessing always has to come in. They only want one thing from you, me, anyone on the outside, but at least they are open about it. <p>4. They strongly discourage, so strongly that I think I will say that they forbid, reading any criticism of Jehovah’s Witnesses. This, at least in Mr. JW comes out in a way that almost seems like strong paranoia. So strong that after reading some humorous stories by <a href="http://www.tomsheepandgoats.com/">Tom Sheepandgoats</a> I had to spend several minutes explaining that he really is a JW, not a fake one, not an ex-one and not pretending in anyway and says good things and really is a good JW. The Skeptigirl is skeptical and just could not live not listening to all sides in such subjective matters. I read criticisms of my own faith and it does not shake it, it makes me understand it better. Sometimes people hurt by the system of beliefs that brings so much light and goodness to your life are the ones that can teach you the most about it. A faith unquestioned is not a faith worth having. If it is so fragile that you dare not even entertain thoughts that it may not be true it is not very strong at all. You haven’t even faith the size of a mustard seed. I am not saying Mr. JW’s faith is weak, I am merely saying I cannot live like that. <p>5. Blood transfusions. I mean I am glad bloodless surgeries and other alternative bloodless therapies are being developed, there is a lot of good in that and the push by JWs in that fields is awesome. I just do not believe that there is anything against the teachings of Jesus Christ in that. This is 100% a matter of interpretation and I really do not see it the way they arrive at this conclusion. I want to not have a moral dilemma when I, or someone I love, is in danger and needs blood. <p>6. The afterlife not so tempting. Pushing aside that my interpretation of the scriptures makes me arrive at a different sort of an afterlife than they do I want to just talk about the thoughts that I have about theirs. What the Witnesses told me was that all of them would, after Jesus’s dominion was returned to Earth, live in a paradise here. It would be just like now except we would be immortal and all disease and sorrow would be gone. Together with our families and friends forever on a perfect harmonious Earth. What is unattractive about that? Well nothing really except the time spans involved. I mean it would be lovely to live a few thousand years in full health, bloom of my youth, which is starting to fade, exploring this Earth having experiences, not having to worry about money, pollution, sickness or anything. Trying out a few extreme sports. Visiting everywhere beautiful and exotic on this perfect Earth. The only problem is that after a few thousand years I would think it would get a little boring. I think a more infinite existence, nothing like this, full of unimaginable sensations and experiences would be more to my taste as far as heaven or afterlife goes. Unless the Witnesses expect to do space travel. I really must ask them. That would be neat. Maybe they could find other species to evangelize and strange new doors to knock on. Then I may recant my verdict of boring. <p>7. The Witnesses are not exactly egalitarian when it comes to the sexes. I have made my views clear about the subject on this blog before. I mean the church I go to now is not exactly egalitarian either but showing me into the mold of a normal woman is a little ridiculous. So in light of my current church situation, let’s call it a neither good nor bad point but my heart is Evangelical Quaker. I still am a member of a Quaker congregation in the United States and feel like that is my true spiritual home. <p>So, there are my thoughts and what I feel like I learned about these warm, friendly, normal people. I am sure I can learn a few more things and I will boldly go and learn about other religions too but I feel like I know enough to form an informed opinion instead of one that is based on hearsay. I will report back to you about the possibility of Jehovah’s Witness space travel as soon as I know anything.</p> Skeptigirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09114437797095740146noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3782706867987073426.post-82669201771405979442012-05-05T11:19:00.001-05:002012-05-05T11:19:46.018-05:00Ask a Finn?It has been suggested to me to start a second blog: Ask a Finn. Who thinks I should? Do you have questions for it? I am sure it would be a fairly low volume in questions so it would probably not take that much of my time.<br />
<br />
Let's put it this way. I will start this blog if I recieve atleast three questions from three different people relating to the subject sent to the gmail address attached to this account: skeptigirl.blog@gmail.com, I will start it. Other comments, suggestions, aprovals/disaprovals etc. can be left below.Skeptigirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09114437797095740146noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3782706867987073426.post-3973111233947513482012-05-04T04:57:00.000-05:002012-05-04T04:57:56.306-05:00My Opinions on Pentecostalicism: Speaking in Tongues<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">Finally on
the real blogging wagon I guess.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">So, I
posted a mostly neutral account of how I would describe Pentecostalism and
evangelicalism, as in I tried not to include my personal opinions about it.
This is the post to include those. How do I feel about my religious heritage,
both relating to the topics I covered in the other post and other things not
covered?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">Let’s start
with the craziest seeming bit, the baptism in the Holy Spirit and speaking in
tongues. Do I believe in that? Yes, I guess I believe in it with reservation. I
am extremely skeptical of the gifts of the Holy Spirit, not the gifts
necessarily but the people displaying it. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">I believe I
received the baptism in the Holy Ghost when I was about thirteen, before I was
baptized with water. Do I believe my experience was a genuine one of being
touched by God’s spirit? I do. For the sake of context let me tell you how it
happened. We were in Sunday school and our teachers taught us one day in the
lesson about the baptism in the Holy Spirit. Some of us were already going to
the youth group meetings Wednesdays, the traditional day for youth services in
the USA. One of our class mates had gotten baptized in the spirit and had
gotten the call to be a pastor. The teachers shared that with us and decided
that at the lesson we would all pray and see if the spirit fell on us. I sighed
and got to praying thinking in my little pessimistic mind that everyone else
would surely speak in tongues but me. The teacher began to pray and soon
slipped into praying in tongues. After a while I felt something in my feet. It
was rising up through my body and when it got to my face I began to cry. It was
strange but good feeling and I believed it was the Holy Spirit. Did I speak in
tongues, no I did not and I never have. I was actually the only one to experience
anything that day in Sunday school.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">Regardless
of this powerful experience, which I believed to be real, I began to have a
growing feeling of skepticism about speaking in tongues. My pastor had told us
that when the spirit spoke there would be something in it for us, all of us. So
whenever someone spoke in tongues I paid close attention to the translation and
tried to find some meaning in it. Not only could I find no relevance ever- I
mean I can find relevance in anything, give me a phone book, any page and I
will find you relevance, I am magnificent at it that thanks to my literature
classes in high school- I could not even remember anything said in the
translation by the time I got to the car after service. I wondered at this and
this started to deepen my skepticism on the subject. Then I started to notice
how everyone sounded the same when speaking in tongues and that I could imitate
it pretty well after having heard it several times in a row. Then I read the passage
in the Bible of the Holy Spirit descending down the first time like flames on
people’s heads and the tongues spoken here sounded nothing like what I heard in
church. Shouldn’t it have sounded like Finnish to me? Should it not sound like Italian
to my father or German to my mother? I pondered at this but did not come to a conclusion;
I just dwelled in my skepticism.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">I still
dwell in my skepticism. I have no idea whether I have ever heard anyone truly
praying or speaking in tongues. I am okay with this; I accuse no one of
intentional fraud or of self-deception or of mass hysteria. I have never really
felt anything when someone speaks in tongues and up on hearing the interpretation
I feel less than if the person was reading the phonebook. What is the
conclusion here? Whatever, who cares, the gift of tongues is really weird.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">What odd
spiritual traditions or rituals do you remember from your childhood, or yesterday?
Preferably from your own religious tradition, because they all seem weird when
looking outside in.</span></div>Skeptigirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09114437797095740146noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3782706867987073426.post-15496927385009031142012-04-24T15:33:00.003-05:002012-04-24T15:33:53.122-05:00excusesI have not posted for a while but I have a legitimate reason. My parents visited and I was distracted and then I got sick from over training. I had to take a break to recover, I am well now and ready to reassume my blogging and excercising in a more sensible way. You may not see a connection between over training and inablility to blog but apparently there is one.<br />
<br />
I did climb 1022 floors of stairs last week, I assure you it was done in the most sensible of ways, to beat the other people I was compeating against, I lost to the guy who did 200 more floors more than me. So, if you are lucky I will post something this week, if you are not then you should talk to your therapist about it. That level of attachement to my blog would be unhealthy.Skeptigirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09114437797095740146noreply@blogger.com1