I like to think I am a pretty good writer, sure I do not have a huge following here or anything. Still being able to express myself well in writing has always been one of my virtues. So it feels fairly humiliating to have to take a class recapping elementary and middle school Finnish grammar in order to take high school Finnish classes. Well, I really need to as evidenced by the grammar, spelling and etc. Test taken on the first day. Under 50% success is nothing to brag about.
We have our first writing assignment. I am looking forward to it but I feel nervous. I have not taken an academic class in six years. I am afraid that I will let myself down again like I did back then. Back then I failed out of college. I locked up and was unable to do the work. I was unable to study and to complete the course work. Now I know I can do better and I am just taking one class, one class I really need and am finding reading the course text rather challenging. I am scared of the writing assignment. I have to write it by hand, all high school work has to be in Finnish classes. I have a strict limit for my final draft. If it runs long, how am I going to shorten it with out rewriting it? What about writing mistakes? Can I just write it in pencil? An erase able pen? Or do I just write it in pen and draw lines over my mistakes. I have to ask the teacher. I am also worried that I will get too nervous about it and not finish it like so many other assignments in college. That would be humiliating. I really have to do well in the class to gain back my academic confidence.
When ever I have the time to work on my assignment I seem to be too tired to think so I can't work on it very much. Like now, I was going to work on it but I feel really tired. It is about nine in the evening here. I will have to try earlier tomorrow.