My problem is that I get angry and upset really easily at phenomena. Children starving in Africa: I want to punch someone. Old Chinese men made to live in shipping crates in Helsinki construction sites with no running water and improper heating because greedy men trafficked them here: I would toss my chair out of the window if it would not make a mess and get us in trouble with the land lady. I have this seething, calculating stress enducing, enduring bad temper. This is why I avoid the news. Why would I want to read about human rights violations and injustices when I can’t do anything to fix them especially when I feel like having a heart attack for hours after? Yes, I have a problem. Writing about it and posting it anonymously on the internet really helps.
I did not want to know anything about Mars Hill or Mark Driscoll especially since I was fairly sure I did not count in his view of the world because I am not a “real” woman, my husband is not a “real” man, ours is not a “real” marriage and I am pretty sure I am not among his elect. Also if my husband was to all of a sudden to turn into Mr. Driscoll’s definition of a “real” man I am not sure what I would do with him or what use he would be to me. On that note why would I want to give my reverence to a God so petty, small and legalistic? I was not created good enough or with the self-discipline to be good enough and there is really no true grace in the Calvinist world view (in my opinion, let me remind the reader that all opinion on this blog, unless stated otherwise is mine).
Now, since I cut off ties with my Mars Hill congregant friend I have been obsessed about reading about the phenomena. I do not so much have a problem with the fact that I theologically disagree with the man and he reads the Bible like the Devil, which is fine, because I believe in religious freedom. People are free to choose this lifestyle if they want but the problem is the disallowing of criticism and cult like control that is exerted over membership’s lives. At Mars Hill when a person questions, they are not given proper freedom to question and are hushed up for fear that the decent spreads. I mean, everyone knows I am all about questioning; it is the basis with my relationship with my Father in Heaven. I am that child who constantly asks her parent why and the God I believe in patiently allows me to question. Sometimes he answers, sometimes he says that I am not mature enough to know yet and I must wait. I accept that, sometimes I grumble that it is unfair and stomp to my room but that is alright, He understands, it is just who I am. He created me like this and loved me enough as I am to die for me.
Here are some stories by people who know more about Mars Hill than me because I have never been to that church.
Here is the same story as above but from the husband’s perspective which actually adds a lot of dimension to the first one, if it did not I would not be posting both: http://twocleareyes.blogspot.com/2012/01/mars-hill-altar-of-doctrine-and-occult.html
Here is an interesting take on masculine religion which I enjoyed: http://bramboniusinenglish.wordpress.com/2012/02/03/masculine-christianity-is-a-privilege-of-the-english-speaking/
Now I will go and try to calm down I will try not to imagine kicking Mark Driscoll’s ass.