Saturday, May 4, 2013


I am back for the moment. I never said it was forever. I am probably not here to stay but might pop in at some point. I am sneaky and mysterious and all that. I just had something I wanted to write and here it is.

I have always been such a huge fan of the civil rights movement. I have always been more of a Rosa Parks type of a fighter for freedom, than a Freedom Rider. I will stand up for what is right when I need to but I am not actively courageous. I wait for my moment to stand up for what I believe in. I am still waiting for my opportunity because then I could say, look at me, these are my principles, and this is what I believe in.

In today’s world racial equality is a given. That does not mean racism is not live and well but it is not systematic, widespread and accepted. I keep thinking: What is the today’s equivalent of the 1960’s segregation? My answer is there is not an exact analog but in my life but prejudice against Muslims and homosexuals comes close. I face both in my spiritual community. The prejudice against Muslims is the reason I have effectively left my former church. As much as I love the people I spend time with there, their attitudes against this particular group of Semitic people are too much for me to take and so I left. I mean I work there. I have committed to certain tasks which I can’t just leave barring something absolutely egregious.

The subject of gay rights is another thing all together. I believe it is a human rights issue to allow them to marry, adopt and have the same legal rights as couples of the opposite sex. Adam and Steve all the way, so to speak. This is actually an issue I cannot even take up to defend in a community of faith, or among most of my family. I am an ally of the LGBT community. I am a Christian. If I can justify women having the same rights legally, socially, and within the church it is not hard to justify acceptance of homosexuals. What is the justifying of a few verses versus a whole boatload of crap declaring women are as unto animals?

I feel like on this blog I have been too accommodating of differing opinion on this particular topic. I mean, I still allow for differing opinion when it is done politely 100%, it is the ground on which this is built. What I mean my expression of the issue. I think I have been molly coddling the bigots by expressing my opinions in a watered down way.  I must speak the truth. I cannot in my heart believe that homosexuality is a sin. We cannot help who we love and are attracted to. Not all of us are suited to the lifestyle of celibate monks. We are not all Paul. “Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do.” 1 Corinthians 7:8. I am a person made to be with someone. I am made to be in a couple with my husband.

It was our anniversary, Friday May 3. We have been married for nine years. I am prone to loneliness and could not imagine making it through life without someone at my side. I cannot deny that for a person who is predisposed to form a pair bond with a person of the same gender. If someone can live life single, great for them, do that. It frees you up for other, more important things. So if you are gay and can remain single, fine do it. If you are straight and can do that I absolutely encourage it and use the time you have free and untethered for the benefit of others. Go out, change the world, write a blog and let me live through you vicariously.

I am still waiting for a Rosa Parks moment. I am also dreading it because I really do not feel comfortable coming out to friends and family as an ally. I have said that I support gay marriage because I do not believe that the government should legislate morality but no one knows that I believe it is possible to be gay, Christian and a good person at the same time. I feel ashamed of this. I want to live in a way that I can say this so that is why I am waiting for my Rosa Parks moment. I am waiting for the moment I cannot stay silent. I am waiting for the moment that something happens and my inner sense of justice forces me to declare the truth. I want that because then I could say: “I am living according to my principles, I am not a coward. Let the gays into the church and into fellowship with us.”

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