I am in a fairly boring kind of depressing part of my life. I am really just waiting, waiting to apply for school. I have a fairly good chance of not getting in. You see, I went to a really good high school in the USA, which was a big mistake. Why, how could that be? You got a good education right? Yes, I did. I got an excellent education. I enjoyed all the stuff I learned and loved my teachers who worked very hard to make my grammar and spelling understandable and tutored me on their off periods to help me pass trigonometry, which I both hated and never understood. This top notch education never did any favors for my grades. I went to public school for most of middle school where I was never in danger of failing anything and even got into the junior honor society and on the honor roll with no effort on my part. This excellent education never did me any favors when it came to getting into college and it will not do me any favors getting into the school of applied sciences social work program either, which I am trying to apply to, or will in a month or two.
Other than this I am idle, very idle and slothful. I did sign up for the security team at church, they needed more women and all I have is time right now, I could technically work all services and events, I won’t but I will work many at first because I want to learn the ropes. Later, if I do a good job, they will pay for me to get licensed as a security guard which means I can get paying work also so I am not volunteering just from the goodness of my heart I think it would be a good way to earn a little cash if I get into school next fall, or especially if I don’t. My resettlement aid will run out this fall so if I am not getting student aid I have to get a job. The only other job I could get is cleaning and that is not what I really want to do, well, I could do warehouse work, that would be good.
Last night I worked security for the first time. I did not do much, mostly sat on my butt and asked questions and chatted in general. I did get hit on by a slightly douchey guy. He had a rhinestone encrusted cross of bishoply proportions (as in Catholic bishop), two gold stud earrings in one ear, he was about ten years older than me and asked me for coffee. I mean not at a coffee shop but after we literally exchanged like three words and I said I was waiting for someone he asked me if I wanted to go downstairs to get coffee with him. I said no. According to the other security guys he usually does not stay for the service just the coffee, but he did last night. After the service he came to talk to us and basically said that he was the only one in this church who believed the whole Bible, he was not ordained by the church, but by God and he was a future missionary but not sent by the church but God himself. So, I gather he is not perfect, just better than everybody else.
Like I said, I am in a boring and kind of depressing place right now. There is a lot of stuff happening, or going to happen without my control. I really am not sure what to do with my time; the house is actually clean, which is an indication that there is something really wrong.
I'm a full time student, although the workload hasn't been much of a challenge so I also have a good amount of free time. I don't have a job because A) I have no need for an income as long as Im in college and living with my parents (seriously, I have little use for money. I desire nothing!) B) the economy sucks and so does the job market as well as the jobs themselves. I mostly ass around on the internet, its a huge time waster. Im trying to motivate myself to read and exercise but no success so far.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you have a lot of time. What are other people in your family doing? Are you bored out of your mind at home alone?
ReplyDeleteKaiWen, you schedule sounds like mine, minus the school. I am able to motivate myself to excercise, not as lucky with the reading but I am working my way through a book I got for free. It is annoyinbg because it was written in English and translated to Finnish so I am missing some of the authors intent in passages so I am not sure yet how I feel about it.
ReplyDeleteTaylor, My husband is in the exact same boat as me. He is waiting to apply for school too. He wants to build guitars. My son goes to pre-school for little ove 5 hours a day so my husband is here most of the day being as unproductive as me.